TOP TEN MONDAYS!!!! PLUS: Dave Is Getting Psyched

Today is the day when most well-to-do Americans will roll out of bed, slip on their Bunny Slippers of Personal Identity, and fall with a great crash! When that happens, you know it can only mean one thing; it's Monday. And 'Monday' can only mean one thing....

TOP TEN MONDAYS!!!! Today's Topic: Dave's Top 10 Tips to Enjoying Thanksgiving Dinner. Thanksgiving has forever been the hearty eater's Olympics of Holidays. It's the one day a year we set aside to see just how many spoon fulls of sweet potatoes will actually fit into our mouths before we cough and it all comes out our noses. It's also the one day a year we set aside to reminder ourselves how thankful we are that we live in a nation where sweet potatoes can be constitutionally grown for our consumption. And our thankfulness does not just stop at sweet potato production; we are also thankful for our liberty, our freedom, our pursuit of happiness, our families, our friends, and, most importantly, apple pie. However, when we get so caught up in our thankful spirits, it's very easy to overeat and not recognize until later the fact that we not only ate 3 helpings of each main dish, but also 5 pieces of pie, our neighbor's piece of pie, and our salad fork! Luckily, with my Top 10 tips , you won't have that trouble this year. Let's get started with:

• #10- Drink plenty of water. You don't want to be dehydrated going into Meal Time.
• #9- Eat a very light breakfast. Usually I go with a bowl of bran flakes in the morning, and then I wait to eat until the Dining Hour. Bran flakes are an especially good choice because it frees up the interstate for future traffic...if you know what I mean.
• #8- Research plate size beforehand. Often times, a quick stroll through the dining room is all you need to observe the size of the plate from which you will be eating. This is a vital detail. You have to know whether your plate is flat or sectional, as well as its diameter and circumference. This will determine future decisions at Meal Time, and the inexperienced eater will crumble under the intense pressure.
• #7- Research the Menu. This is easier when your family is hosting the Meal, but it can still easily be done when traveling to another home. The trick here is to make sure you don't miss a single dish. Many a time, I have filled my plate with every known substance only to be crushed when I am forced to pass on the Cottage Cheese because of space infringement. This leads nicely into.....
• #6- Spacial Organization. Once you know the plate size and the menu, it's time to put 2 and 2 together. As soon as you sit down, it's time to begin planning. With me, I'm a Quadrant guy. I like to divide my plate mentally into 4 quadrants and associate each with a food category (meats, vegetables, etc...) But you need to do whatever works for you. The Rhombus method, the Isosceles method, and the "Attila the Hun" are all common food spacing techniques that have been proven to work over the years. Like I mentioned in #7, you have to be sure to get everything on your plate the first time around. If you go into the Meal without a plan, my friend, you might just have to be content with saving the cranberries until round 2. Okay, so the food's on our plate. Now what do we do. It's time to get into the Top 5!
• #5- Keep drinking water. This is an important one. As you eat, be sure to keep flushing the food down with plenty of water. This will come in handy in the big-picture when Cousin Larry gives out after Plate 4, and you still have enough to pound down Plates 5 and 6!
• #4- Have a steady pace. I can draw on my running experience for this one. Often times, the race is not won in the last mile...it is won during the middle. The guy who maintains an even pace during the middle, when the race is the toughest, usually has enough to power out a wicked finishing kick. Likewise, at the dinner table, don't be intimidated if Grandpa Eustace is already on Plate 3 when you haven't even gone back for seconds. Chances are he probably doesn't have much more left. Keep an even chew-swallow rhythm going the whole time, drink water (#5), and you should see results.
• #3- Pace yourself on the carbs. Stuffing and rolls. These two hall-of-fame caliber foods are a delight to eat, but be careful; they will slow you down. Their bready, airy texture will take up some much needed room that may force you to wave the white flag after just two plates. Enjoy your carbs, but pace yourself.
• #2- Save room for Pie! As hard as it may be to stop after just 2 plates, always keep in mind the real light at the end of the tunnel....pie! So many times, I've been too full after the meal that, although the pie went into my mouth, my stomach was too full that it hardly recognized the new visitor. Be sure to enjoy dessert.
• #1- Never forget who deserves all of our Thanks! I love eating. I love thanksgiving. I love football. However, the term thanksgiving has been around a lot longer than the Pilgrims. Here's a passage form Psalm 100:

⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving

and his courts with praise;

give thanks to him and praise his name.

⁵ For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations.

With that being said, I hope you have a great thanksgiving, and I hope my 10 tips allow you have a scrumptious, satisfying meal on Thursday.

In 40 minutes, I compete in the IWU School of Music Concerto Competition. I am getting incredibly physced. If I place in the top 4 (or 5, depending on time), I will play with the orchestra on Feb. 14, 2009. I will write about the outcome in a future blog post.